1) i started working in the science office at cooper's school last september. i absolutely love it! it is such a fun job and you never know what you'll be doing next! this morning i was tasked to juice red cabbage for a 5th grade chemistry lesson. it was messy and smelly, but the vibrant sight of deep purple and violets was quite beautiful!
2) i've been proud of myself for setting aside time to meditate. usually on wednesdays, i'm rushing out of the science off to drive up to san carlos for my other job and have no time to stop for anything. but yesterday, i sat in my car, turned on my meditation track and spent 8 minutes focusing on my breathing. it always feels so good after, and that has for sure been the payoff to continue.
3) i like predictability, i like routine. especially when it comes to my job at lyon learning center. but i knew a few hours prior that i would be working with max that day. he started off as this anxious child full of nervous tics and how can my heart not swell in seeing my own little boy before my eyes? but he was a different child this time. grown - both physically and emotionally. he was confident, intentional, focused, and absolutely driven. i wanted to hug him every second of our session because i was so proud of him!
4) during the pandemic, i was in search of comic relief. one of the things i stumbled on was the podcast "smartless" with jason bateman, sean hayes, and will arnett. listening to it will always make me smile or chuckle. the episode i listened to on the way to san carlos was john krasinski from "the office". it was as if i was sitting with them reliving some funny memories.
5) wednesdays are my "crazy days". coop started band in the fall and we need to be at school 45 minutes earlier for his classes. we are good about attending consistently and on time but it is always a mad rush getting out the door and getting into the multi-purpose room. and with the downpour of rain this week, i anticipated a more difficult feat. coop climbed into bed with me around 6:20am saying he was scared. so he lied with me and i can tell from the restlessness of his body that he was nowhere close to falling back asleep. ordinarily i would internalize all my anxiety that he would be tired, or fall back to sleep too late, we'll be missing band, blah blah blah...just typing it gets me exhausted. but i lie restful next to him, knowing that it doesn't matter. that it it not worth it. and went back to by breath to anchor my thoughts and focus on what did matter. so he went back to sleep and i awoke to pop the chocolate croissants in the oven. and when he woke in a panic at 7:40, i was cool as a cucumber and hopefully transferred some of that energy to him. we were late, yes, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter.
6) at the beginning of the year, my nephew dj moved out to new york city!!! every time i think about it, there's an electricity that seems to go through me. when i was texting him when he landed last week, i had goosebumps! in fact this has prompted me to text him again because i haven't checked in with him last week. but being in your early 20s, persuing your dreams, packing up your bags to move across the country in hopes of landing the career of your dreams...what an incredible chapter of his life! and i am extremely proud of what he has already accomplished.
7) i finished the book i was reading! it was an emotional ending, maybe for a completely separate reason than the story itself. but i'm proud of myself for completing it. i've got my next book already lined up - "anxious people" by fredrik backman.
8) and another book to read in supplement to the above novel and my mindfulness workbook, was loaned to me by my dear friend leanna. simple abundance: a daybook of comfort and joy written by sarah ban breathnach. i thumbed through the first few pages and a quote that has been resonating with me for the past few weeks was "you only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough". the fact that we have this one life to live has been a powerful statement for me.
9) after my evening mediation session, i got to indulge in some comic relief. i started watching "hacks" on hbomax over winter break. it takes place in las vegas so as much as i say i'm done visiting that city, watching scenes from the strip and the casinos creates an energy as well. it's been funny, heavy moments at times but gets my mind off things right before heading to bed.
10) both my boys had a stressful afternoon. ry took coop to his dental consultation which sounded overwhelming, unpleasant and scary. i could tell when i got home that they weren't in a good place. i could have easily joined their company in that regard but i had to remember to "turn back to my breath", ground myself, recognize my thoughts, and focus on breathing with clarity. it really did help. maybe i'm getting closer to reaping the benefits of mindfulness.
