california adventure with my adventurous little guy

 

1)    our second day at disneyland was spent mostly in california adventure. the last time we were here, the whole star wars/avengers thing was not at the forefront. he was all about radiator springs. but this time after watching all of the marvel movies and tv series, our first stop was avengers campus.
2)    shortly after we arrived, there was a spider-man show. we got to see some stunts and high 5 peter parker at the end! 
3)    another avenger sighting with dr. strange
4)    after the pic and autograph with dr. strange another action sequence was happening with black widow, taskmaster and black panther. makes you really feel like you're part of the film!
5)    since the line for guardians of the galaxy: mission breakout was "only" 50 minutes, we queued up not really knowing what we were getting ourselves into, and knowing the wait time would only continue to be longer as the day went. it was amazing! what a rush! 
6)    while i was grabbing our preordered lunch, coop snapped a shot of ant-man and the wasp
7)    getting an autograph from princess shuri/black panther
8)    we crossed over the pier to head towards the incredicoaster which unfortunately shut down for the rest of the day after standing in line for almost 30 minutes. luckily, coop wasn't too bummed and with some cotton candy, quickly moved on.
9)    we headed back to avengers campus to ride the spider-man web slingers ride. what a workout!

10)   although we weren't as versed or organized with how we were going to spend our time at this particular park, it was quite the adventure! 

the happiest place on earth - part 2

 

1)    the character sightings are always so exciting no matter what! it's woody!
2)    coop was tall enough to drive the cars at autopia. he and ry rode off in front of me. i was a distracted driver trying to capture all the moments of my kiddo driving in front of me while coop looked cool as a cucumber!
3)    we caught a ride on the storyland boat and since we were in the front of the line, he got to ride right on the deck!
4)    ry paid extra to get on to rise of the resistance ride. earlier on, it was shut down so i was trying not to get my hopes up. it was another epic ride. i really wish i was able to take in more of it but it was such an amazing experience!
5)    while we were waiting in line for pirates of the caribbean (almost 40 mins because no lightning lane available), ry unexpectedly announced that he preordered some beignets, coffees and hot cocoa which would be ready soon after we exited the ride! 
6)    out of all the times i've been to disneyland, i don't recall riding the mark twain riverboat. thanks to coopy, we hopped on to the second to the highest level (the top one was closed) and enjoyed a nice ride on the ferry!
7)    i guess toontown is no longer a thing but ry reserved another new exclusive ride "mickey's runaway railway" which brought us to this area. here's my happy kiddo on one of the cars!
8)    after leisurely boarding the big thunder mountain ride thanks to the lightning lane again, coop immediately wanted to ride it again. after we scarfed down some skewers and rice for dinner (our first legit meal of the day at nearly 6pm!), i went back in line with the kid to ride it again! so epic and even more intense without ry in the seat with us. my little dude, such the thrillseeker! 
9)    we weren't sure what our next step was as it approached 8:30pm and found ourselves back near the ferry entrance. it began to pour rain so coop and i dashed into the line for pirates of the caribbean to ride it again and seek shelter from the storm! poor ry. at least he had an oversized umbrella to stand under for a bit lol
10)    we spent nearly 14 hours at disneyland. literally from the moment we stepped out of the hotel, children were melting down at 7:30am. all around me, i was super aware of the tears, whines, complaints of those around us. fortunately, we were all in good spirits on the walk back to the hotel. even ry, as he limped for nearly 10 miles with his injured knee. what a trooper! 

the happiest place on earth - part 1

 

1)    coop had asked to go to disneyland back in october for his 8th birthday. we did look into it, but it was such a busy month. ry purchased everything in november for our trip during coop's ski week. we surprised him the morning of our trip. this was the view from our hotel at the westin in anaheim. i was so pooped, i heard the fireworks but couldn't pull myself out of bed to watch them. ry took a pic. 
2)    had to take an "ussie" right at the entrance upon our arrival at 8am! 
3)    the adrenaline rush walking down main street towards the castle! no caffeine needed - just a natural high! and with ryan splurging for the lightning lane/genie+, all our photos were downloaded.
4)    it's silly to admit this now but i was completely giddy and smitten seeing "rey" walking through starwars land lol
5)    we had some time before our ride reservation so we wandered to critter country and hopped on the winnie the pooh ride. shortly after, we saw the character and coop got a pic and autograph with him! 
6)    we walked back to galaxy's edge to catch our ride and got an awesome family pic with the millennium falcon in the background!
7)    pic with chewy!!!
8)    i was able to snap a quick pic of coop in the falcon next to the dejarik table.
9)    with the help of the lighting lane, we were able to hop on to smuggler's run in a jiffy! this ride was wild with designated roles such as pilot, gunner and engineer flying in the falcon. so cool!

10)   i felt just like a little child again walking through the gates of disneyland. so much magic!    

little things mean a lot

 

1)    one of our recent rituals we’ve added to coops’ bedtime routine is solving the wordle and quordle of the day. it just makes me so freakin happy that he loves all these word games - my little word nerd. 
2)    every now and then the parents at hacienda nominate a member who goes above and beyond. i was surprised when i got a message saying i was recognized and to pick up a goodie at the front office! 
3)     dj sent me this picture of his new place. i love the plants and the rocks on his shelves. he’s got a great eye for aesthetics.
4)    i’ve been trying to go upstairs while i meditate but the space needs a bit more care in order for that to work consistently. while i was standing and breathing, i looked out the window and noticed the beautiful blue sky with the fluffy clouds floating along to the left. one of the meditation tracks say to picture your thoughts as clouds, drifting and dispersing, and your mind is the sky. i think about this moment during those times and it helps attach the meditation to something concrete. i can visualize it now.
5)    dad called me a few weeks ago asking for help on removing coops’ booster seat in the lexus. i wasn’t able to describe it over the phone so i told him to facetime me. after lots of instructions shouted over the receiver and pulling off different straps, he was able to detach it! it made me smile, and before we ended the call he said “you’re so pretty…” dads….they’re the best.
6)    ever since coop turned 8, i'm realizing how much older he is getting and how it seems like his toddler years were so long ago. but then he does something silly and child-like that it makes me pause to cherish these moments of his childhood.
7)    when the second graders celebrated lunar new year, they had orange chicken and chow mein for the kiddos. dana scrounged up some leftovers which we ate during soccer practice!
8)    it's been so cold up here that parts of the bay area have experienced freezing temperatures. i love how coop noticed this icicle underneath the upper grade science teacher's subaru. she lives in santa cruz and said there was a ton of frost outside!
9)    i'm so happy that coop is able to experience such fun hands on activities at hacienda! i got to help out with an excavating project in his classroom where he had the opportunity to sift through dirt, and identify and collect rocks! 
10)    back in middle school, there was this song from boyz ii men "little things". i remember the chorus "little things mean a lot, appreciate what you got, if you give what you have it forever will last"

wellness wednesday

 1)    this has been another busy week in the science office. we are focusing on setting up these aquariums for trout eggs for the second grade classes. it hasn't been the smoothest process. i was expecting to get this thing running and bounce at 10:30am to hit up the baylands in palo alto before i work with my students. the filter never got going, and i was trying to connect with the contact person all morning. finally at around noon, after some troubleshooting, water started flowing out - yay!
2)    because of the filter fiasco, i decided to take a sick day at lyon learning. once i got the aquarium going, i was determined to make my nature walk happen so i hit up the los gatos creek trail and go on a 6 mile walk! i was smiling the entire time - taking in all the sights of the wildlife and nature's beauty, the cool freeze, the warm sun. it was worth calling in sick and it was the boost i needed after the hiccups this morning.
3)    yesterday, i helped out in coops' classroom for their valentine's day activities. it was so much fun, and i appreciate all the effort miss pham puts into their holidays. i'm glad i got of picture with my little valentine!
4)     the much anticipated trailer for ted lasso season 3 was finally released yesterday! this show pulled me out of my funk several times during the pandemic. one more month until the final season. yay/boo!
5)    coop has been loving his electric toothbrush that cindy got him! we never have to ask him to brush his teeth - he happily does it each time! this filter was hilarious and made me giggle when he was brushing his teeth last night.

6)    ry and i continued our tradition of eating pizza on valentine's day. i was in sessions from 4-6:30pm so he ordered a delivery so we could celebrate as usual.
7)    after volunteering in coops' class yesterday, i snapped a pic of him and his friends. it makes me happy knowing he has good friends in his circle.
8)    after my walk, i needed to charge up my phone so i stopped at panera. while plugging away, i pulled up my secret show podcast and immediately found myself giggling to their nonsense.
9)    at panera, i ordered a fuji apple salad with chicken. i inhaled it! so delicious! 
10)    i don't do it often, but taking the day off from job #1 was just what i needed to get caught up with taking care of myself. i really hope that wellness days become more and more accepted - at work, at school, in life. 

Resurrection Sunday

 1)    a few weeks ago, i flew back home for one of johnny's memorial services. i flew on my own partially because we had flown home recently for dennis' dad's funeral, coop's school had their star party that saturday, and i didn't want him missing school that following monday. it was good to get away and spend some quality time especially with cindy. saturday night we saw this smiths cover band, still ill, at some dive bar in chula vista. it was such a good time - love good live music that i can sing my lungs out to!
2)     this pic was one of the pictures in the memorial slideshow for johnny. i remember him this young, living under the same roof. he was the cutest, and i remember me wanting to pretend he was my little brother.
3)    i had mentioned that coop checks out some really great picture books from his school's library. this one was from "the couch potato". on the flight back home, i spent more time looking out the window at the view of the beautiful sky, the endless ocean and the wondrous landforms thousands of feet below.
4)    my cousin jojo spoke at both of the memorial services that weekend. he never has been much for words, but the way he spoke about his brother, his mother, their relationship, and the lessons his brother's life has taught him did not leave a single dry eye in the chapel. one thing that he had asked of us was to take more risks, go outside of our comfort zone and do the things that make us happy. i have been saying i want to drag my golf clubs out of the garage and go to the driving range. we got to do that, and it was so much fun!
5)    yesterday, i helped out in the outdoor classroom doing some yardwork. one of the side projects was to build a raised garden bed for one of the 5th grade classroom's sprouts garden. the smell of the freshly cut wood brought me back to when i was a child and dad would build in the backyard. i stopped to take deep breaths of the fragrance and smile in the nostalgia of a time when i would spend hours in the backyard watching dad hard at work.
6)    there was a tiny break in the rain, so coop and i hit plastic golf balls in the backyard. so much fun! until it poured down on us!
7)    my brave boy being "the perfect patient" according to the oral surgeon during his tooth extraction last week. it hurts my mama heart so so much seeing him go through this, and i am so proud of how brave and strong my boy is!
8)    the cure essentials - more songs for me to belt out in the car.
9)    we watched wakanda forever today. i've been a bit lethargic this weekend, and about an hour into the movie, my eyes got heavier. but i sat up and watched it in its entirety. thinking of the quiet strength that chad boseman must have endured the entire time he was sick. the movie was a beautiful tribute to him and his life.
10)    i went for a walk this dreary afternoon and stopped to really take in signs of regrowth and new life. we only get this one life...i must keep telling myself that in order to live it as fully as i can. 

catching up

1)    coop had checked out grumpy monkey oh, no christmas from his school library. we had read it and this page resonated with me. "he noticed how pretty the raindrops looked on the leaves", "taking time to notice the good things can make your problems seem smaller". 
2)   this billboard: "be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, valued and loved" i try to model to coop everyday that every human deserves respect no matter their title, job or status.
3)    verbatim books in san diego looks like such a magical bookstore. will definitely need to try to visit this place during one of our trips. 
4)    i follow ksby news because of jakeycakes. after all the intense weather events, this picture of a double rainbow was posted.
5)    my obsession with cute panda pics (especially with them eating food), has continued into the next decade.
6)    coop took a sick day a few weeks ago - lethargic and slight fever. so we walked around the neighborhood leaving encouraging notes for our neighbors.
7)    i stumbled upon this cartoonist, liz climo, and her adorable drawings of animals with hilarious captions. 
8)    as i mentioned, coop was a bit under the weather. that night, coop and ry were cuddled on the couch watching sports. i love how affectionate and loving ry is with his son.
9)    thanks to cindy and jonathan's hulu account, i was able to binge "only murders in the building". it is such an adorable show with an unlikely trio of comedians that is the perfect combination of success. they started filming season 3 - i can not wait!
10)    i'm learning that fine balance. to stay on top of things, and if i fall behind, it's ok. i can continue when i'm ready and it will all be ok. 

that three day weekend feeling

1)    for the most part, it's been a gloomy 3-day weekend. but there have been patches of sunlight and breaks of rain, so we took advantage of that and grabbed a basketball to head over to the middle school. surprisingly, ry came and joined us too! so we shot around the basketball for some 2 on 1 and a game of horse, got our endorphins going and got muddy and dirty while doing it!
2)    i couldn't tell you when i captured this quote. but i'm trying every day to live up to it. making space and time to breathe and refuel has has been the difference in taking care of myself, and therefore taking better care of my family.
3)    sam's family had invited us over for new year's eve during winter break but unfortunately had to cancel. we got a re-do this saturday and it was so much fun! coop spent 4 hours playing with his friends, while the grown-ups got to chat, snack on nachos and sip champagne! it was a fun night that nobody wanted to end!
4)    on my morning jog, i probably would have been able to count 10 things that made me smile! starting with taking a different route than my usual path, saying hello to strangers, the charming victorian houses with bay windows, an apartment building with bright orange doors. i jogged to the tune of ajr essentials.  i had only heard two songs before we went to the concert last july, but since then, we've all become superfans! so many of their songs are about mental wellness and healing, and some are just downright fun. there were so many times when i just wanted to break down dancing mid-run!
5)    last year, i aimed to run a 5k and 10k every month and did ok. i want to try to continue that, and every time i log in a run on strava, i feel accomplished.
6)    on saturday, coop felt the urge to play with his legos. he hasn't done that in months. it's one of the happy memories i have of his childhood because i love seeing his creativity and curiosity. this morning, he wanted to do a specific set - the spiderman far from home stark jet. all three of us spent hours taking pieces apart, collecting 500+ pieces hidden with the thousands we had in boxes. there were moments of frustration for sure, but once coop completed it, we were extremely satisfied!
7)    sunday night, ry popped open a bottle of red wine from the ancient peak vineyard in paso robles. it promtped me to send a text to my old friend and colleague rae-ann to see how she was handling the storms back home. good wine - great friend.
8)    ry made the best steak last night accompanied with the most tasty roasted potatoes and braised asparagus! it was delicious-ness in every bite!
9)    i wrapped up my first week of my mindfulness program. it felt really good to be able to stick to all the activities, especially on days when i felt like i couldn't fit in it. i am hopeful about the rest of the program, and am looking forward to applying what i have learned when i need it the most.
10)    i know we all just reset to our routines last week after the holidays, but having this 3 day weekend to look forward to and recharge was a warm welcome, especially during these storms. happy mlk jr day!

rain or shine

 

1)    my sweet goddaughter, peyton, turned 15 today! i am still in disbelief that she is indeed 15. the last time i saw her, i was pleasantly surprised with how open she was in sharing what's been going on her life at school and with her dance team. she posted this pic which is adorable with the handwritten notes from her mum and dad.
2)    since starting the science assistant position at hacienda, i don't think i've ever had so many donuts in the workplace! on my way back from the front office, arul from the hi-5 program came with a cart full of donuts, coffee and handed me a $50 amazon gift card as a thank you! it was completely unexpected and an absolutely generous and thoughtful gesture. i love this job so much!
3)    i'm repeating week 1 of my mindfulness program, and have been much more dedicated this time around. one of the areas of focus is "habit releaser". i am much more mindful of my routes during my walks. a street that i normally wouldn't continue walking south on, i did partially because this dome shaped building caught my eye. i am also being more conscious about keeping my head and eyes up when i walk past strangers and will occasionally make eye contact, smile and even say hello. definitely things that aren't habitual during my walks!
4)    towards the end of my walk, i had been reminded about acquaintances of mine who are currently dealing with an ailing parent, or one who had recently passed away. i immediately knew i needed to call home. i was able to catch up with mom who hasn't been feeling well since returning from the philippines during the new year. i will also be grateful for the fact that i can pick up the phone and call either of them - a blessing that i need to cherish for as long as i have it.
5)    shortly before pickup, dana texted me and leanna saying she was stuck in traffic and would be late picking up the kiddos. with coop skipping out on golf due to the rain, it was my absolute pleasure to help out. i love that our hawk tribe can all rely on each other. our children and our mama souls are in good hands!
6)    at drop off today, i was pleased to see the class put together a poster to celebrate dr. martin luther king jr. on the way to school, i was going to ask coop what they had learned about him, and reminding him of why it is important to honor his legacy with the upcoming holiday this weekend. 
7)    on the way home, the cure's "it's friday i'm in love" came on and i blasted it and sang my lungs out. sooooo good! 
8)    my nephew jacob moved to central california last spring. he landed a job with ksby news has excelled in his career rapidly! it has been incredible watching his news reports, anchoring the sports edition on the evening news and most recently his news report in santa barbara covering the recent weather events was televised on nbc san diego news! how rad is that?!?! this evening he covered governor gavin newsom's visit to santa barbara county addressing the montecito floods. his delivery is so pro - calm, collected and informative. 
9)     around 5pm, i got a call from cindy. usually if i'm doing an activity with coop, i'll let it go to voicemail but for some reason i said "i gotta take this call". and i'm thankful that i did. she did not sound well at all, and it absolutely terrified me. my sister gives like no one. she thinks highly of the ones she loves, and has neglected to project that same care to herself. we talked for 2 uninterrupted hours and it was so good for the both of us. we all have things we're working on and during dark times, it may seem like we're the only ones who struggle with things. but that isn't true. some are simply better at hiding it than others which does not benefit anyone. next weekend, i will be flying home on my own and cindy had invited me to sleep over at her place which i am eagerly looking forward to. 
10)    i went for a jog around lunch time today expecting just a drizzle and the light rain to stop within the first few minutes. boy was i wrong! it was a mixture of a downpour, drizzle, wind, and patches of sunlight. it was cleansing, invigorating and fun! i took a ton of selfies to capture the moment of playing in the rain for an hour! 

mindfulness - the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something

 

1)    i started working in the science office at cooper's school last september. i absolutely love it! it is such a fun job and you never know what you'll be doing next! this morning i was tasked to juice red cabbage for a 5th grade chemistry lesson. it was messy and smelly, but the vibrant sight of deep purple and violets was quite beautiful!
2)    i've been proud of myself for setting aside time to meditate. usually on wednesdays, i'm rushing out of the science off to drive up to san carlos for my other job and have no time to stop for anything. but yesterday, i sat in my car, turned on my meditation track and spent 8 minutes focusing on my breathing. it always feels so good after, and that has for sure been the payoff to continue.
3)    i like predictability, i like routine. especially when it comes to my job at lyon learning center. but i knew a few hours prior that i would be working with max that day. he started off as this anxious child full of nervous tics and how can my heart not swell in seeing my own little boy before my eyes? but he was a different child this time. grown - both physically and emotionally. he was confident, intentional, focused, and absolutely driven. i wanted to hug him every second of our session because i was so proud of him!
4)    during the pandemic, i was in search of comic relief. one of the things i stumbled on was the podcast "smartless" with jason bateman, sean hayes, and will arnett. listening to it will always make me smile or chuckle. the episode i listened to on the way to san carlos was john krasinski from "the office". it was as if i was sitting with them reliving some funny memories.
5)    wednesdays are my "crazy days". coop started band in the fall and we need to be at school 45 minutes earlier for his classes. we are good about attending consistently and on time but it is always a mad rush getting out the door and getting into the multi-purpose room. and with the downpour of rain this week, i anticipated a more difficult feat. coop climbed into bed with me around 6:20am saying he was scared. so he lied with me and i can tell from the restlessness of his body that he was nowhere close to falling back asleep. ordinarily i would internalize all my anxiety that he would be tired, or fall back to sleep too late, we'll be missing band, blah blah blah...just typing it gets me exhausted. but i lie restful next to him, knowing that it doesn't matter. that it it not worth it. and went back to by breath to anchor my thoughts and focus on what did matter. so he went back to sleep and i awoke to pop the chocolate croissants in the oven. and when he woke in a panic at 7:40, i was cool as a cucumber and hopefully transferred some of that energy to him. we were late, yes, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter.
6)    at the beginning of the year, my nephew dj moved out to new york city!!! every time i think about it, there's an electricity that seems to go through me. when i was texting him when he landed last week, i had goosebumps! in fact this has prompted me to text him again because i haven't checked in with him last week. but being in your early 20s, persuing your dreams, packing up your bags to move across the country in hopes of landing the career of your dreams...what an incredible chapter of his life! and i am extremely proud of what he has already accomplished.
7)    i finished the book i was reading! it was an emotional ending, maybe for a completely separate reason than the story itself. but i'm proud of myself for completing it. i've got my next book already lined up - "anxious people" by fredrik backman.
8)    and another book to read in supplement to the above novel and my mindfulness workbook, was loaned to me by my dear friend leanna. simple abundance: a daybook of comfort and joy written by sarah ban breathnach. i thumbed through the first few pages and a quote that has been resonating with me for the past few weeks was "you only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough". the fact that we have this one life to live has been a powerful statement for me.
9)    after my evening mediation session, i got to indulge in some comic relief. i started watching "hacks" on hbomax over winter break. it takes place in las vegas so as much as i say i'm done visiting that city, watching scenes from the strip and the casinos creates an energy as well. it's been funny, heavy moments at times but gets my mind off things right before heading to bed. 
10)    both my boys had a stressful afternoon. ry took coop to his dental consultation which sounded overwhelming, unpleasant and scary. i could tell when i got home that they weren't in a good place. i could have easily joined their company in that regard but i had to remember to "turn back to my breath", ground myself, recognize my thoughts, and focus on breathing with clarity. it really did help. maybe i'm getting closer to reaping the benefits of mindfulness.

Back to School

1)    today was the first day of school after winter break. i realized over the weekend that i was internalizing the angst i would feel when i was a child about returning to school, and thought that cooper was experiencing the same thing. i don't think he was, which was a relief for me. after a restful 11 hours of sleep, he awoke with a huge smile partially because he is allowed 20 minutes or so on his iPad every monday once he is all ready for school. and thanks to cindy's awesome christmas present - the hum electric toothbrush - brushing his teeth is so much fun!

2)    this sloth with her babies?!??! there are no words to describe this cuteness!

3)    i came home after working in the science office, put on my walking shoes and hit the pavement. to my pleasant surprise, i saw ry on the opposite side of the school crosswalk and we jogged a bit around the perimeter together. then i tackled my 3 miles and came across one of my favorite houses in our neighborhood that always goes all out for each holiday. i walked past their 2023 decorations, smiled, then walked back to snap a shot. 

4)    there was a bit of a break in the rain this morning so i went out to the odc. it wasn't a surprise that there was flooding and debris everywhere. i was taking out as much of the leaves and branches that i could while i was out there and noticed how quiet and still the school felt since everyone was in for rainy day recess. then suddenly a single mallard quietly flew into the upper pond. it was nice to have the company. 

5)    damar hamlin is on his way to recovering. after 9 minutes of cpr. after his heart stopping on the field. his post, his words are remarkable. there aren't too many things in this world that unites so many people. the only silver lining of his accident is the fact that people had the ability to put their disagreements to the side, and offer prayers and positive thoughts so damar could pull through. keep them coming.

6)    with being more conscious about what we eat in terms of sugar content, i busted out my juicer so coop and i could make some fresh pressed juice. we had some grapes that were losing its crunch, some apples that were leftover from ry's pie, and a nearly full bag of carrots in the fridge. coop thought about adding some lime too which was the perfect touch! i always love the colors of the leftover pulp in the juicer, especially the layered effect. 

7)    another rainy day and this time, we needed to be somewhere. during weather like this, i appreciate the option of having a safe vehicle to drive in. we hopped in the highlander this morning and safely made it to school.

8)    as i mentioned, it was our first day back at school. i was happy that coop got to be with his friends again, and also realized, i was happy to be among my friends too! it was good to catch up with dana, anthony and kim this morning. my village, my tribe. 

9)    saturday, after my session with miranda, it was clear that i needed to prioritize my self-care. and that always starts with exercise - mainly getting outside. so i went for a walk challenging myself to be aware of my habits and switch up the routine. so i went on the west side of first street where the most charming houses can be found! it's hard not to walk around those streets without a smile. and even more delightful, most of the houses still had all of their christmas decorations still up and lights were turned on! at 11am! it was a great walk! 

10)    going back to school after breaks, and even just after the weekend, was always such a difficult transition for me. i remember it gnawing at me the entire weekend, and the feeling in my stomach that i would get in anticipation of returning to school. i don't really know why, and have been trying very hard to figure all of that out. but i am dedicated in putting in the work because this is the only life we get, and i need to - for my sake and my family's sake - live it the best way that i can. 

New Year, Old Hobbies

1) it's been a minute but hopefully i can pick up right where i left off, much like my friendship with my oldest friend, marianne. this past winter break was filled with disappointment after disappointment. there were some dark moments but now i'm starting to see how i can benefit from those experiences. mare called me and when i saw the incoming call on my phone, i figured it was a butt dial. even when i saw her voicemail, i figured it would be background noise. but it wasn't. it was one of her heartfelt, genuine, warm messages letting me know she's thinking of me and misses me. and it could not have come at a better time. 

 2) since thanksgiving, our mornings had started off with "christmas essentials" on apple music. since taking down all our holiday decorations, my mornings in the kitchen are silent, lifeless. i should have figured out sooner that music gets me out of my funks. so who else to turn to but bob marley's legend?! and after singing along to "three little birds", well i challenge anyone to still be down after the words "cuz every little ting gonna be alright!" come out of their mouth. 

 3) after a level 5 storm, and many days of uncertainty, coop and i spent a few hours at happy hollow. i always wonder if our next trip to this beloved local park will be his last in that he has outgrown this place that he had spent so many of his toddler days at. but after our ump-teenth time in line for the rollercoaster and our mutual joy for riding it (and more so what it meant to me symbolically), i realized that all the adults on the ride looked so happy. every grown up was grinning ear to ear and taking that in filled me with a warmth that i desperately needed. 

 4) one of the biggest culprits contributing to my anxiety this past week has been the major dental work that coopy will need. but i have to be thankful for the incredible health and dental insurance that is available thanks to ry and his job. hopefully that feeling remains the same after consultation and estimates! 5) pre new-year and struggling with being limited with what we could do during break due to the weather and ry's foot, i took a day or two to just lie in bed under the covers watching reruns of "the office". and although i discovered today during my therapy session that watching reruns is a way of coping with anxiety (total mind-blown moment by the way which makes complete sense now in why i find so much comfort in it), i also enjoyed episodes from seasons that i've completely missed. jim better not cheat on pam! 

 6) yesterday was coops' first day back at golf lessons since winter break and there were some worries going in (from both him and i). but he had "the funnest golf class" yet! and i got to catch up with kim who gave me the reassurance that i needed going forward with cooper's dental treatment. this is a pic of her helping coop with bazooka ball at emy's birthday. she literally has his back every step of the way! i feel extremely grateful for her friendship.

 7) when we wrapped up coops' golf lesson, he was starving! ry mentioned that he put a grocery order in earlier that day for food for dinner. when we got home, he was already grilling up hotdogs and tater tots were baking in the oven! it was a great feeling knowing all of that was being taken care of. 

 8) i am trying to find my way back to...myself i guess. i am trying to find things that used to bring me joy. i can't even remember the last book i read, so i purchased "the dictionary of lost words" in december. it takes me some time to read (finding the time for one thing) but i'm about halfway through it and am really enjoying it, as well as getting some self-care time in. 

9) dana had called me a few days ago, and much like marianne's call, my initial thought was "butt-dial". but i picked up, and she answered. at first i couldn't figure out where the conversation was going. she and i talked at emy's party about her father having some issues with swelling in his legs. which led to why she was calling. turns out that her parents had booked a trip to disneyland this sunday and their reservation - to THE disneyland hotel - was transferrable BUT non-refundable. she knew that coop had wanted to go for his birthday so offered us the room from sunday through tuesday! i was floored with her generous offer! again, another valued friendship to be grateful for. 

 10) it's been over a decade since i've entered anything on this blog. i have moved, had a child, changed jobs, changed life directions and somehow lost myself along the way. i'm making my way back though, and remembered how much i liked reflecting on these journal entries and taking the time in my day to stop and realize all the happy thoughts that surround me - both big and small.

my amazing 75 year old dad!

Tree House

A tree house, a free house,

A secret you and me house,

A high up in the leafy branches

Cozy as can be house.

A street house, a neat house,

Be sure and wipe your feet house

Is not my kind of house at all--

Let's go live in a tree house.

-Shel Silverstein

elfing around

for the holidays you can't beat home, sweet home